There’s a popular quote that says…

“In every problem, the solution is born”

It’s one that I resonate with a lot.

Although… there is one small change I’d make to this idea.

I’d add…

The letter S.

“In every problem, the solutionS are born”

It’s a subtle difference…

But a big one.

When it comes to problems in life.

Most people don’t lack solutions.

Because there are many.

What they lack…

Is the right solutions.

There are some solutions that go the distance…

And others that fizzle out like a firework.

The key difference between every solution…

Is your relationship with it.

Many people get stuck.

Not because they don’t know how to get out the problem.

Often they don’t know how to stay out of the problem.

We can think of solutions to problems in three ways.

I call it the Triple S method.

Well…

Honestly, I’ve never called it that before.

This whole post was an on the spot reflection.

BUT

We’ll call it the Triple S method for now so that it sticks.

1️⃣ | SAVE
2️⃣ | SURVIVE
3️⃣ | SHIFT

First…

Let’s use an analogy to relate to these problems and help make it visual.

Imagine your life like a car.

You’re driving down a dark dirt road until suddenly…

You get stuck.

You get out the car and realize the dirt has turned into mud and now you can’t get out.

Everytime you put your foot on the gas…. the wheels just spin.

More pressure isn’t helping.

Another way we can think about being stuck in the mud.

Is that you’re attached to it.

Literally.

You want to get unstuck, but in order to do that.

You have to un-attach yourself from the mud.

So what’s the first habit you build…

When it comes to problem solving?

—————
1️⃣ | SAVE
—————
You call for help.

Every since you were a baby, that’s what you did.

When you encountered a problem, you’d cry for help.

Unfortunately… some people.

Never grow out of this strategy.

When they get stuck in the mud…

Immediately they’re thinking, who do I need to call to help me out of this situation.

Is it a friend?

Is it a towing company?

They want a savior.

Which means that someone has to come fix your problem.

When you take this approach…

What you may not realize is that when you need a savior.

You make certain subconscious assumptions about yourself.

The first is…

You’re a victim.

Because only victims need saving.

Otherwise you’d save yourself.

The other assumptions you make is that you’re powerless.

You believe you lack what is needed to remove the problem.

Now…

Certain problems are this way.

And ultimately you’re gonna need help.

But if this is your default approach.

Next time you come across mud… snow… etc

You’ll get stuck again.

This is a perpetual cycle of a victim needing a savior.

These saviors often come in the form of:

➥ Friend / Family
➥ Government
➥ Prophet
➥ Police

Eventually we realize this isn’t the best solution.

So we’ll try the next thing.

———————
2️⃣ | SURVIVE
———————
Going back to the stuck in the mud scenario.

Imagine if you realized you had a couple of blocks of wood in the trunk.

All you need to do is to drive over the wood pieces and you can get out.

Simple, and effective.

You understood that if you put something between you and the mud.

Between you and your attachment.

It could help you distance yourself from it just enough…

So that you can move forward.

Now you say to yourself…

I have a solution.

Every time I get stuck in the mud I’ll just whip out these blocks of wood.

The thing is…

You only have so much trunk space.

What happens when you get stuck in a ditch.

No biggy.

You say to yourself…

I’ll bring some chains too so I can winch myself out of the ditch.

Eventually…

You’re trunk is full.

Because it has all the tools you will use to survive the different problems that could arise.

Your car has become a preppers toolkit.

Surviving can help you cope with problems.

The challenge is…

It works, until it doesn’t.

It’s not scalable.

Surviving will never be the ultimate solution because it keeps your trunk full.

Not with joy and authenticity.

But with all the tools you need to survive life.

Whether it’s dealing with your:

➥ Parents
➥ Manager
➥ Spouse
➥ Coworkers
➥ Strangers

You end up becoming a disfigured shell of a person because you’re showing up in all of these environments differently.

Around your spouse you become, avoidant…

Because you just don’t want to hear it.

Around your parents you become, combative

Because you’re angry inside.

Around your boss you become, submissive.

Because you need this job.

In all these environments you’re showing up as a different person.

Fragmented, splintered, with very little sense of self.

Well duh…

You are trying to survive the problem by shape shifting into the tool you need to get out of it.

While the wood creates enough distance from you and the mud.

It doesn’t create enough distance to solve the problem.

Which is attachment.

Anything that doesn’t prevent the mud from attaching you when in direct contact.

Is a coping mechanism

➥ Addiction
➥ Avoidance
➥ Overwork

These are a few of the many common coping mechanisms we deploy to deal with our problems.

So if asking for a savior doesn’t work…

And neither does coping with the problem?

What does?

—————
3️⃣ | SHIFT
—————
This is the most effective process to truly deal with the mud.

Because it obeys the creators most fundamental law.

Change.

The only thing constant in the Universe…

Is change.

Which means if you shift something about yourself…

Or the situation.

You won’t get stuck.

Going back to the stuck in the mud example.

You could try to shift the situation externally.

Like adding more dirt to the mud, so it can harden up.

And then you can get out.

But again…

This is more of a cope, because it requires more dirt in order to work.

Not only that…

It requires a lot more energy.

This is what prevents many people from shifting.

They spend too much energy trying to change people.

Instead of accepting things for what they are.

This leaves only one solution left.

You change something about your car.

Different wheels, installing all wheel drive, etc.

When you make these shifts.

You won’t need anything, or anyone to get you out of the problem.

Because when the problem arises.

It can’t attach to you.

You are unbothered by it.

Behind this benign story.

Is the way of non-attachment.

Ultimately your solutions to problems don’t last.

Because you’re still stuck to them.

It’s only when you let go off them completely that you can rise above them.

Just like rising above the mud.

This happens when you change something about your car.

When problems come up… you don’t need a savior.

Nor do you need to Frankenstein yourself into a multi purpose knife…

In order to survive them.

What you can do…

Is shift.

Go from two wheel drive, or maybe you’re in one wheel drive.

To all wheel drive.

Shift your behaviors from addiction, avoidance, etc.

To things like:

➥ Creativity
➥ Meditation
➥ Breathwork

Shift your emotions from anxiety, depression, etc.

To things like:

➥ Understanding
➥ Compassion
➥ Joy

When every problem comes around…

Don’t get attached to it.

You can’t be broke unless you accept this.

I don’t think monks have very much money.

Do you think they call themselves broke?

You can’t be triggered unless you create a trigger.

Most people